A Popularity Contest

by Mister Susan

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credits

released April 1, 2016

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about

Mister Susan London, UK

Mister Susan are;
Barry Levitt Drums, loops & keys
Ben Jones Guitar, synths & vocals
Ian Da Preda Xylosynth
Christian Snuggs Bass & vocals

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Track Name: Popularity Contest
I’m just the kind of guy that everybody seems to mind.
When you’re least expecting it I’ll sneak up from behind.
I need all your attention now. I need it really bad.
If you’re doing slightly worse than me I’m always really glad.
You’ll always hear me coming even in a crowded bar.
You’ll try to move away from me but won’t get very far.

Welcome to my world. My mindless popularity contest.
So good in my world. That mindless popularity contest.

I’m dying to impress you now my favourite occupation.
What d’you mean you have to leave? Your train is at the station?
Stay right here and have a beer. Don’t ask about the wife.
Listen while I boast about my fascinating life.

Welcome to my world. My mindless popularity contest.
So good in my world. That mindless popularity contest.

My new Girlfriend's expecting me.
She’s young and hot and Asian.
Every time I talk to her it ends in litigation.
It’s getting late I’m feeling great.
You just want to get home.
If I didn’t take so many drugs, I’d still be in the zone.

Welcome to my world. My mindless popularity contest.
So good in my world. That mindless popularity contest.
Track Name: Synthgimp
If you’re a really massive rock star.
Or just a hapless one hit wonder.
And condescend to other cultures.
Like rubber necking singing vultures.

You want to further your career now.
Be faintly smug and look sincere now.
With no idea of what the deal is.
You’d sell your mother for a cheese whizz.

If you’re a person from a far land,
And rock stars want to lend a big hand,
Don’t worry if their music’s quite bland.
Just tell them what they need to understand.
The money must go to the needy.
Not all on admin and the greedy,
Or any corporate kind of mass pimp,
Or to Midge Ure cos he’s a synthgimp.

They’ve really come to save the earth now.
To ease the conscience of their rich pals.
They tilt the world upon it’s axis.
They never ever pay their taxes.

They’ve come to offer you a portion.
There’ll be no feedback or distortion.
You better watch out for Madonna.
In case she steals another orphan.
Track Name: Broken
I don’t know what’s on your mind.
It shouldn’t be that hard to find.
I don’t know. You don’t care.
This won’t take us anywhere.
I don’t know what’s on your mind.
It shouldn’t be that hard to find.

I don’t know what’s on your mind.
It shouldn’t be that hard to find.
I don’t know. You don’t care.
This won’t take us anywhere.
I don’t know what’s on your mind.
Broken you’re broken broken again.
Track Name: Certain/Uncertain
I am certain. Everything is made for me.
I am certain. Everything is paid for me.
I am certain. There’s no place I’d rather be.
I am certain. Tell me who the enemy is.
I’m uncertain of Governments that spy on me.
I’m uncertain of all of this uncertainty.
I’m uncertain. I need a bigger salary.
I’m uncertain so tell me who the enemy is.

I am certain. The truth is written down for me.
I am certain of everything they’re telling me.
I am certain. I’m lacking personality.
I am certain. Tell me who the enemy is.
Track Name: Bathrobes & Towels
Sweatpants and labour are what they want from you.
You’ll get no favours in comprehensive school.
TV and lager is what you wanna do.
Drug busts and parties.
You would do wouldn’t you?

Bury you alive

Mummy and Daddy they want the best for you.
Uni and ponies are what they bought for you.
Hang out with the arties, is what you wanna do.
Tug jobs at parties.
You would do wouldn’t you.

Bury you alive
Track Name: I wanna do (something creepy to you)
I love you since I knew you
I'd never talk down to you
I really wanna do you
but I'll never get to screw you because,

I wanna do something creepy to you.

I followed you on Facebook.
Looked at all the pictures you took.
Got excited and my leg shook.
I'm trying not to be a sex crook because,

I wanna do something creepy to you.

I've got my trousers round my ankles.
I'm wearing socks with sandles.
I'm doing stuff with candles
and hanging from door handles,
like Mickey Hutchence (I need you tonight).

I wanna do something creepy to you.

I don't have to take a big chance.
I can just sit here in my under pants
and do my little kooky dance.
It's just a modern romance because,

I wanna do something creepy to you
Track Name: Muffinfishbeard
... .- -- .--. .-.. .
.. -. - .-. ---
-... .-. .. -.. --. .
...- . .-. ... . / --- -. .
-.-. .... --- .-. ..- ... / --- -. .
.-.. .- -.- .
...- . .-. ... . / - .-- ---
-.-. .... --- .-. ..- ... / - .-- ---
--- ..- - .-. ---
Track Name: Uninvited Guests
My friends have come to ruin your party.
Come to ruin your party today.
My friends they took a whizz on your carpet.
Took a whizz on your carpet today.

My friends have come to ruin your party.
Come to ruin your party again.
My friends they put a brick in your microwave.
A brick in your microwave again.

They’re my friends.
They’re not your friends.
They’re not our friends.
They’re only my friends.
Track Name: Blue Cow
Mind control is in our souls for certain
Implausible is plausible to me.

Left or right we have no might. It's curtains. Stupid is as stupid does you see.
Pointlessness is now a national hobby. Massive ball of negativity.

Seems to me we need a brand new model. Who is going to implement? Not me.
Definitely not me.

I mean.......There's this brand new reality show on in five minutes about a surfing cat that sings show tunes whilst dressed as a nun and the new angle is it's owned by one of those American women from one of those programs they show on ITVbe. You know the ones where obscenely rich people shout at one another in faux posh accents like Lloyd Grossman and talk about their feelings and whine about how bad their lives are. On Sunday I'm gonna download the new Mumford and sons album and listen to it in the car on the way to IKEA. Gonna buy me a new coffee table for my chinchilla. Something all white and futuristic looking right out of Clockwork Orange. I mean when life gives you lemons you sometimes end up with a blue cow in the boot of your car. Got that from a meme one of my old school friends posted on Facebook. Wisest thing I ever heard. I mean when I say school friend we went to the same school. Didn't really hang around together all that much.......